Julie's Belize

New eyes, new world

2009-09-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

As I was sitting here in my office, at my desk, diligently crossing off items on my to-do list and fully engaged in my daily strive to be a productive volunteer, I began to hear the sounds of drums outside. Not even 50 ft from where I sit now there is a Garifuna celebration going on at the Dangriga HelpAge center for senior citizens. I hear the drums, then the maracas, and finally the soft voices of young children chanting a song passed down from generation to generation. A few of us look up, surprised by the new noises and continue on to our work. Soon the music gets louder and now the adults have come out in their traditional dress and song, dancing and chanting to the beat. I stop because I haven't heared the sounds of drums like this in a while. Sure, I hear drums all the time in the streets because it's apart of their everyday culture, but these drums were different. They produce a feeling inside me that I haven't felt since the first time I heard them here in Belize. They hit my heart in a way I didn't expect. I was instantly captivated to start watching the dances. The singing and laughing of the audience.
There's life here.
I watch.
This time I watch with new eyes. The beat captures my heart and I realize that I love the drums. I love the beat, and the dances, and the shrill singing from the Garifuna elderly. I love the passed down traditions and the children who want to preserve it even more. Their feet shuffle from left to right. Oh yes! I remember that dance when I lived in Georgetown! The kids spent hours trying to teach it to me. I feet compelled to go out there and say "look here! I can do it too! I love and embrace this culture too!" I resist this spontaneous craving and instead savor this moment of epiphany as the sea breeze hits my face. This epiphany that not only is this my home but that I love my home.
The drums stop and start a new tune. I'm not familiar with it but it causes the rest of the staff to laugh, start bobbing their heads and toes to the beat and take a glace at the reenactment behind our little office. One of my coworkers says "yes, drums of freedom!" in which another coworker, Odelia, in her cute cuban/spanish accent replied "I know, I love da drums. I love dem."

yes, me too Odelia, me too

Springtime

2009-06-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

It's springtime in Belize and I love it! There is new life everywhere.

There are magnificent blooming trees with the most radiant colors at every corner I turn. My favorite has to be the bright orange blossoms that, when I look up, stand out brilliantly against the clear, blue sky. I find myself stopping every time I see them, amazed, as if I've never seen a blossoming tree before. Truly gorgeous. Belizeans must still assume I'm a tourist because I never fail to take my camera out when I pass by these trees. They always seem more beautiful than the last time I saw them.

Not only are there beautiful flowering trees but mangoes have come back into season as well! Oh my mangoes, how I love them! I feel like myself, along with the rest of my Belizean community, have a newfound hop-skip in our step from the utter excitement of these sweet and succulent, juicy fruits. I just found out that there are about 8 different types of mangoes we'll see over the season. There are different names for these mangoes that each have their own subtly distinct taste. We have the Slipper mango, sugar mango, thundershock mango, number eleven mango, bellyful mango, blue mango, apple mango, and Julie mango. Yes, there is actually a mango that is named Julie and I'm really excited to try it (along with the bellyful mango - that one just sounds like I'll love it). People walk down the road, eating a mango in the hand like it was an apple. I've started doing this but only when I know I have access to floss in the near future. The fibers are the trickest thing to get out of the creavases of your teeth. The streets are littered with eaten mango seeds and nearly every day I receive free mangoes from friends and aquaintances.

One more thing about spring that makes me smile pretty much every day is the amount of puppies everywhere. They're everywhere! All different kinds. They're always in their yard, stumbling around with their floppy ears playing with whatever they can get their paws on (no pun intended). They're just so adorable, I want to go up and squeeze them and kiss them and smell their puppy breath. But I restrain myself. I get enough joy just from glancing at their playtime.

The only thing about spring that is almost unbearable is the heat. I've never in my life experienced heat like this. We been reaching around 95-100 degrees and that's not including the heat index with the humidity. I sweat when I walk, when I eat, when I sit, even somehow when I'm standing in front of the fan. I'm still sweating. I'm averaging about 3 showers a day which for me is quite the record. In the meantime, I'm praying for the rainy season and thanking god for my flowers, mangoes, and puppies that keep me so utterly content each day I'm here.

Earthquake

2009-05-28T15:10:00.000-07:00

I experienced my first earthquake last night and was probably one of the craziest, scariest, most surreal moments of my life.

It was a little before 2:30am and I was suddenly awakened by a weird feeling that my bed was moving. It was a smooth, swaying motion and felt as if I was in the middle of the ocean. Trying to snap out of my dreaming/waking stupor, I quickly realized that this wasn't a dream, it was most definitely an earthquake I was experiencing. I always assumed earthquakes were quick jolts and lots of shaking but it wasn't like that at all. It felt as if I were in the middle of the ocean with high, thick, rapid waves. As the waves became more intense my bed began to move to the center of the room. Scared, not knowing what to do, I jumped out of bed. I heard a loud crash in the bathroom and discovered the tiles had fallen off the wall and shattered on the floor. I walked into the kitchen barely keeping my stance. I felt I was in some kind of lucid dreaming state and could barely keep my composure as the rocking became more intense. I looked over at my shelves and felt relieved my dining-ware hadn't fallen and broken. I felt my heart beating through my chest and I questioned whether I should hide under the bed. As I made my way back to my room the earthquake settled and I paced back and forth for a while - partly because the adrenaline had completely taken over my body and partly because I didn't know what else to do. I finally went back to bed. I woke up two more time during the night from aftershock waves, moving my bed in a swaying motion again - just less intense.

The next morning everyone was talking about it. The news, friends, strangers. People I'd never met before would say "good mornin'! How'd you like that earthquake last night??" I found out that the epicenter near the island of Roatan off the coast of Honduras and was measured at a 7.1. I hear that Belize's quake measured in the 5 range. I don't know how accurate that information is though since I have not heard about it in the news yet.

Meanwhile I'm still processing the events that took place last night. I felt the earth move. How powerful. Mother Nature has a mind of it's own and we have no other choice but to succumb to it's desires. We're so small, defenseless, and helpless when it comes to Mother Nature's almighty and commanding plan. The experience was terrifying and yet, somewhat humbling at the same time.

Sovereign's Day Travel

2009-05-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday and Monday I took advantage of the holiday weekend to do some sightseeing around Belize. Myself and a few other volunteers made our way west to the Mayan Ruin Xunantunich (shoo-naan-to-neech) and then down south to the Blue Hole National Park (the one on the mainland).

Xunantunich

We started in Belmopan taking the bus down the Western Highway to San Ignacio. The Western Highway is quickly becoming one of my favorite roads to travel. There are many small Mestizo and Mayan villages along the stretch including Camalote, Teakettle, Ontario, and the mennonite community of Spanish Lookout. These small villages usually consist of one primary school, one or two churches, some chinee shops, and plenty of chickens and dogs running around on their own free will. What I love most about the Western Highway is the mountainous scenery and rolling hills of the Cayo District. Cayo is filled with lush jungle (just like the rest of Belize) however it is also home to piney woods and red clay that give me that old nostalgic feeling of the Pisgah National forest in North Carolina. There are also plenty of citrus groves, cattle ranches and agroforestry projects that keep my eyes captivated by life's simple pleasures.

Once we passed San Ignacio, we made our 15 minute trip to the small village of San Jose Succotz where we crossed a river by a hand-cranked ferry. 1 mile walk in and we made it to the site. Even though little is known about Xunantunich, it is believed to have been a very important ceremonial center for the Mayans. Xuanatunich consists of 3 plazas, a ball court, and the 130ft tall El Castillo temple. Even today, El Castillo stands as the second tallest human built structure in Belize. At the top of this temple is a 360 degree view of the Mopan River Valley and into Guatemala. It was the first Mayan temple I've ever seen and it will surely not be my last. What I love most about the site is the spirit of the place. It's not something you can feel from looking at pictures; only from the experience of seeing and touching these magnificent structures. You get there and something comes over you. A sense of awe, overwhelming respect for the nature of living history, the beauty of the art of life. As you tour through the sites your mind wanders as you try to paint a picture in your head of exactly how the plazas were used. I could see the crowds in the stands watching the football game; or the people working diligently on stone carvings; or the thousands of Mayans gathered around El Castillo making sacrifices to the gods. The site was said to be abandoned around 850A.D. due to an earthquake.

After a few hours wandering around Xunantunich, we made our way back to San Ignacio where we ate the largest $4bz burritos I've ever laid my eyes on at a small hidden restaurant called Eagle's landing.

Blue Hole National Park

The next day we took an early morning trip from Belmopan on the Hummingbird Hwy to the Blue Hole (about 15 minutes). After a 20 minute hike through the lush jungle we came to the Blue Hole which is a clear pool that was created as mountain streams rose to fill a sinkhole before flowing off back into the earth and eventually into the Sibun river. The limestone surrounding the hole is what gives the clear water it's blue hue. The water was cool and refreshing. A nice way to relax after hiking in the swealtering heat Belize is experiencing right now.

Passerbys

2009-05-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

"Upon those who step into the same river, different and again different waters flow"
- Heraclitus

I recently spent two weeks at a hotel on the beach during my transition to new living quarters. Thankfully Peace Corps paid for the whole stay and they couldn't have been more supportive of my situation. I stayed at a place called Pal's guesthouse and the owner, Clement, was nice enough to give me a room with an ocean view and a private balcony (on an extremely discounted rate). I woke up every morning to the sun rising over the ocean's horizon. Gorgeous. My balcony felt like my own little hideout, away from everyone but still in the thick of things. I sat out there and read a lot, or just sat there a soaked up the beauty of the world. During this time I noticed so many types of people using this one piece of land for different purposes. I found it beautiful in a way. This same piece of land intertwined in the paths of so many different lives, used in various ways. I jotted down a few of my observations:

The Old Man and the Sea
A man, 50 or so, sitting in his old dory. The sunlight bounces off a shiny object in his hands, blinding me for a quick second. The object comes down hard on a wooden plank in the middle of his boat. He's cleaning his catch-of-the-day while four pelicans wait patiently for scraps. When bones are finally thrown behind his back into the air the pelicans reach their enormous beaks into the air, flapping their wings frantically for a piece of this old man's trash. He bails a few buckets of water that had gathered in his dory during his break. He re-situates himself back into his seat and starts paddling again, disappearing around the corner.

Sundays
Sunday are family days. No one works. You may find a few shops open in the morning for a few hours but never past 12pm. Sundays in Dangriga are reserved for families to do nothing but enjoy each other's company while eating enough food to feed a small country for the month. Sundays are a day for the beach. Families come to my little nook on the beach with their 10 kids and dogs. Lounging, playing in the water, laughing.The kids are swimming in the ocean with their clothes on as they usually do. The boys form a triangle and are throwing a rock between them. Someone is carrying a pot of rice to cookout on the beach as the sun sets. How very American with a Belizean twist. They spend all day there in the water for hours at a time.

Tourists
Two women from America. Cute and stalky. Strong in demeanor. They're laying on the beach in the sun for hours like any good tourist would do. They've set up an umbrella which I've never seen anyone in Dangriga do. I don't think anyone owns a beach umbrella. That's what the palm trees are for I suppose. They're on their phones (like any good tourist) doing business. One of the women is leaving a message on someone's voicemail. Threatening. Insisting on receiving an email that day. I suddenly feel like I'm spying and go inside to pick up my book where I left off (The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver).

The Morning Crew
Children before school. I don't know if they're bathing or just plain having fun at the break of dawn. The physically fit come out to play as well. Some with intense workout routines, some leisurely pacing themselves. The older generation wears the whitest clothes I've ever seen. White baseball caps, white t-shirts, white shorts, white socks, white shoes. Sometimes you'll find a stripe or two on their shorts or a Nike check on their shirt. They look fresh out of the package every morning. I must find their secret. My neighbor (for two weeks) Jorge for Germany. I've seen him jump in and out of the ocean so fast it's as if he were replacing his morning coffee jolt with the refreshing sting of the ocean water to wake him up and start his day.

The Clean up Crew
Belizeans take great care of their beaches. Every morning there is a man, the same man, with his wheel-barrow and rake. He rakes up anything that has washed up onto the shore over night. He's very good at what he does, making the straightest lines possible with his rake. Not a leaf of seaweed in sight or a shell nearby. Every morning. Everything is clean and organized.

Crushed Spirit

2009-05-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

I have had a pretty difficult past few months, thus, the absence of my blog entries. It's much more fun to write about the good stuff, right? Well my reappearance doesn't necessarily signify a return to happier days, but more on the realization that my life here must be documented for myself, and my family and friends, no matter what the circumstance.
I think the main source of my recent difficulties has been the product of what I call a crushed spirit. What does a crushed spirit look like? To me, hopelessness, discouragement, fear, confusion, and most of all, disappointment. A crushed spirit. It embodies all feelings that conjure up the word "can't" into one's everyday vocabulary. "Can't" is a dangerous word and I'm doing everything in my power to rid of it.
One negative occurence piles on top of another, day and day. I've been let down too many times than I can count. I've been told these issues I'm dealing with is part of the Belizean culture. They told me adjusting to life here would be hard. But, man....it's hard.
The weight on my shoulders pounds me into the ground so hard my feet feel planted there forever. No more forward steps. No more growth.

Homeless. Due to security issues I was forced to move out of my house that I was beginning to love so much. That happened in the beginning of March. I lived with other volunteers for a while and for the past two weeks I've been living in a hotel. I'm moving into my new place tomorrow. I'm excited to finally have a place to call my own. Home. I never realized the importance of home - wherever it may be. The place where you are rooted, where your life revolves around. People have many ways of defining what home is to them. I've heared people say "home is where your stuff is", but i beg to differ. To me, I've realized home really is where the heart is. Where your life and love is. Where your connections are and familiar surroundings are. It dawned on me the other day something a Peace Corps staff member said to me in the midst of my homelessness that helped me peer out of my deep hole I had been digging myself. He talked about the importance of finding something or someone in my community to, not only connect with, but to love. To keep my eyes open and once there's even the littlest connection, grab it, hold on to it, nurture it, learn from it, love it. Find that foundation, that root, and grow from there.

I have to admit, in my moments of quiet despair, the thought crosses my mind, wondering if this experience is right for me. I end up fantasizing about seeing my family, my friends, having endless food options, driving, enojying the American pace of life - going back to the life I had. Sure, I could do that. But what would be the point? Am I going to run every time something gets hard? That's not why I came here. One of my amazing friends back in the States reminded me to revisit my intentions of coming here. To branch out, to find new meanings in life, to help others in need, to face my challenges and become a stronger person. Yes, indeed. Those are my intentions. I've decided it is not a wise decision to work one's way out of hardships but rather, work through them.
I recently read a book titled "Love and Butterflys." It's numerous journals entries of a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ghana and the lessons she learned through her experience. At the end of this exerpt, I smiled. The same lessons are being leared everywhere.

" I slowly walked the three miles home that day and thought long and hard about poverty. when I finally reached home my perfect, neautiful, rich, blessed, and exhausted body crashed on the bed... and I felt sad and alone. I thought about poverty that comes in the form of sickness, hunger, and oppression, and about the kind of poverty that surrounded us not only in Ghana, but also everywhere else in the world. This is a poverty that is harder to see; the dibilitating kind that comes from within. It is the poverty of spirit that clouds our vision so that we see only what we don't have, what we can't be, and those who we think are better off than us. It is the poverty of character that makes people agonize about what they are not getting, instead of what they are failing to give. It is the poverty of mind that makes us think that the answer is somewhere 'out there', instead of realizing that it is within each of us. If we could all wake tomorrow morning and choose happiness; if we could embrace our place in the world, yet always strive to realize our dreams; if we could feel blessed with what we have, yet have faith in our limitless potential; if we could commit to love and understanding and compassion... then I think we could change the world after all.
We can fight poverty, but we don't have to travel halfway around the world to do it. We just have to start with ourrselves, and let it grow."

- Taylor Mclean "Love and Butterflies - A Collection of Memories"

2009-03-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

"One of the intangible legacies the Shakers left to the world is their demonstration that it is possible for man to create the environment and the way of life he wants, if he wants it enough. Man can choose.
The Shakers were practical idealists. They did not dream vaguely of conditions they would like to see realized; they went to work to make these conditions an actuality. They wasted no time in raging against competitive society, or in complaining bitterly they they had no power to change it; instead they built a domain of their own, where they could arrange their lives to their liking."

- Marguerite Fellows Melcher
The Shaker Venture

Keepin' Busy

2009-02-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

Throughout the month of January, I managed to pick up a few activities that have been keeping me busy and will hopefully transform into something meaningful for myself and the people I work with. Here's a brief overview of what I have been doing.

4H

I am working with four different 4H clubs in in Dangriga with members, both male and female, of ages ranging from 8-16 years old. Each group meets once a week at 3:30pm. I attend all four meetings throughout the week.
Over the past few years PCV's have been working hard to establish these 4H clubs in the Stann Creek District. Through the past few months of attending the meetings and getting together with the club leaders (local teachers who volunteer their time after school), I've been impressed by the desire in these young people to be apart of something larger than themselves. They have so many ideas and inspiring imaginations that only the uniqueness of youth's innocent and naive minds can conjure up. My job is to give these youths the opportunity to develop these ideas and help them build upon the intentions and future they desire; to help develop themselves, who they are and what they stand for.

I've recently met with all the leaders of the 4H clubs and we discussed where they would like to see their clubs go and what they would like to work on. I think the main focus on all of the groups is that the leaders would like to see more independence within the club officers. They would like to see the officers lead the meetings, come up with ideas on their own and follow through with those ideas. Right now, it seems that myself, along with the adults leaders, are taking more of the initiatve to conduct the meetings and develop the agenda for each meeting. In due time, we hope the students will pursue this leadership with eagerness as we will develop stategies of empowerment and independence. We want them to feel a sense of genuine ownership of the club and accomplishments. Right now I am researching strategies to approaching this task. I'm looking forward to see what comes of it.

Where are my 4H clubs right now??
Two of my 4H clubs have a real interest in community service and also gardening. My other two 4H clubs have an interest in staying active and participating in sports. Right now we've been adding afternoon futbol practice to the end of our meetings and developing findraising strategies to obtain materials for the gardens.
Our next big event in the National 4H Olympics on April 4th where all the 4H clubs throughout the country come together to compete in various sporting events. Right now we have scheduled: 100mt, 200mt, 400mt relay, long/short/high jump, football kick and also a few fun events such as a watermelon eating contest, sack race, and water balloon toss. My Dangriga clubs have decided to hold a futbol tournament and olympic practice one Saturday in March to practice for the event. Planning for that event is in the works.

Camp GLOW Girls

Another project I'm extremely excited about being invloved with is the formaton of a Camp GLOW Girls club at the Ecumenical School in Dangriga. Camp GLOW (Girls Leadering Our World) is a week-long summer camp in Belize aimed to bring about 20 young ladies together to promote self-love, dignity, and self-respect among themselves and other young women by encouraging them to see themselves as worthy, capable, and powerful human beings. By the end of the camp, leaders hope to empower the young ladies to advocate for themselves and their communities, to lead by example, and hopefully to serve as GLOW ambassadors in their communities; inspiring other young women to be their best selves.
One of these girls is doing just that by coming up with the idea of having an after school club centered around Camp GLOW's philosphies. We (a fellow PCV and a teacher at Ecumenical) have put together an application form with an essay. We'll be reviewing these this week. We hope to bring together 15 young ladies with a strong desire to be role models for their peers and have a genuine desire to better their community. I'm extremely excited to incorporate self-reflection activities and design discussions on important issues the girls are facing today.

Life Skills Classes

Another activity I've been involved in is teaching Life Skills classes once a week to adults working to get their primary school equivalency certificate. So far I've gone over what life skills are, indentifying skills, identifying values, and decision-making. I have mixed feelings about this activity but I'm sticking with it nontheless. I love teaching life-skills because I'm passionate about the principles behind it. I'm also more comfortable with teaching than I realized and that has been exciting to discover and build upon that skill. However, students aren't always as passionate about the material as I am...therefore, I don't even know if I'm making any kind of difference in their lives; or if they're even learning anything. All I can do is keep doing my best. That's all I can do.

Breaking the Grip of Materialism

2009-01-14T10:09:00.000-08:00

It started around Christmas time. Materialism everywhere. Garlands, lights, x-mas trinkets that clutter, paper Santa Clauses hanging about, people everywhere (x-mas kicks off tourist season) running around like ants on a mission with a 'take no prisoners' attitude, stepping over other people to get that perfect gift for their loved one.
At first I thought this was comforting. My senses being reminded of the States. The first time it's really happened since being here. The nostalgia only lasted a week or two. Somewhere along the way I became overwhelmed by it all. The actual reason we celebrate Christmas is the birth of Jesus Christ. To celebrate, we act in the morals and values Christ set for us and wants us to exemplify. It's a time to show appreciation to others by being selfless and thoughtful. It's a time of giving. Our society has decided that giving should be in the form of something tangent. Material objects. Unfortunately, because of this, Christmas has become more of a consumer holiday rather than a celebration of Christ's birth.

I, too, get caught up in the excitement. It's a time we usually forget about our needs and focus on our wants. I had my fair share of fulfilling my wants this holiday season. Or was it fulfilling?

I ate a lot of food, spent a lot of money, and traveled more than I was mentally prepared for. It was fun while it lasted. Yet, I was mentally, physically, and emotionally full by the end of it all. I used to live by Thoreau's philosophy "Everything in moderation, including moderation." However in retrospect, I believe I was moderating moderation a little more than Thoreau was getting at. Ironically, the fullness of everything left me feeling empty. I had fun with the indulgence but there was something inside of me that didn't feel right about the gluttony of it all.

So I came home, to Dangriga. I was not only mentally and physically drained, my bank account felt the effects of my frivolousness as well. Managing my money on a fixed income is something I've never had to do. Since leaving for college, I've always worked for tips. If I needed more money, I wouldn't start budgeting, I'd simply pick up a shift. Five hours later I'd have $100 in my hand. cash. There's nothing too terribly wrong with this. I worked for the money. But I never realized the financially irresponsible mentality it set in me over the years.

Having very little money to live on has forced me to re-evaluate my definition of 'wants' and 'needs.' Usually, I pass by a store noticing an item and think 'that'll be nice to have' and somehow trick myself into thinking that I need it. Because I want it, I need it.

In order to be able to feed myself this month I had to write down a budget and a list of absolute necessities. In writing the list, I realized how little I actually need. I don't have any furniture but I can still sit on my doorstep. I don't have anywhere to store my clothes but I can organize them into piles and use recycled bags to store socks and underwear in the meantime. Furniture isn't a need. I have running water, electricity, a fridge to store my food, a stove to make my food, and a bed. The essentials (actually, even those things aren't necessary in order to survive). The realization of how little I actually need has opened up a huge peace of mind for myself. The light-bulb just somehow went off. I don't feel like I'm a slave to material objects anymore....things...stuff. There's a huge weight that has been lifted. I look around at my bare walls and my empty home with the few essential items I have, and the peace it gives me has never been so satisfying, so.... fulfilling.

The fact that I've had this mentality shift, it has translated into other areas of my life as well. I find myself not stressing about things I normally would have. The realization of the power of perspective and mentality has made me conscious and more aware of how I choose to respond to events throughout my day-to-day life. I find that peace, calmness, happiness, and positivity has now made it's way into my life naturally.

beautiful.

The New Year

2009-01-06T11:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

I had a great last month. Yes, it's been a month since I've last updated. School was out was out during that time which meant I had a full 30 days to move in to my new home, spend Christmas with Chris and the Eily's in Belize City, and spend New Year's with fellow Peace Corps Volunteers in Caye Caulker. After all the traveling, I'm back in Dangriga for good...for a little while at least. I'm a little exhausted from going back and forth and I'm ready to establish myself in my community.

My New Home

My home is a cute little wooden house on rickety stilts by the beach. It's a very small, simple home which I love. I didn't want anything too fancy. There's a huge mango tree in the front yard and a coconut tree in the back. Over the years, coconuts have been dropping from the tree and now I have about 10 new trees sprouting. The backyard is perfect for a garden which eventually I'll start. I'm taking an organic gardening class this weekend in Punta Gorda. I don't really know anything about gardening so hopefully that will get me started. I have chickens in my yard too. I don't know where they came from but they're always hanging around. It's actually inspired me to maybe invest in chickens of my own. I would use their eggs throughout my two years here. Producing my own food is something I've never done but would love to undertake. I don't have any furniture as of yet but my doorstep looking over the ocean has proven to be a great dining, reading, writing, thinking, working out, and doing nothing area. Eventually I'll be getting furniture but due to limited monetary resources, the doorstep will have to suffice.

Christmas

It was my first Christmas away from home but surprisingly, I felt like I was home. I spent Christmas in Belize City with Chris and his host family, the Eilys.
On Christmas Eve we listened to traditional Christmas music (we only had Frank Sinatra and Mariah Carey which definitely got overplayed). We drank Rum Popo which is the Belizean equivalent of egg nogg and we both opened one present under our tree. Chris got a book by a sports commentator from his brother Erich and I opened a book journal from Nana. It's a journal to document the books I read while I'm here. I love it! The book was filled with inspirational quotes which I read aloud to Chris as we sat there by our Christmas display.
On Christmas morning, I got up early to make breakfast. We ate hashbrowns, eggs, and bacon which didn't really turn out the way I expected and actually gave Chris a bad stomach ache. whoops.
We were both taken aback at our families' effort they put into buying, wrapping, and sending so many gifts. Chris and I were both pleasantly surprised to receive gifts from each others' family. The Weiss family must already know the way to my heart is through wasabi and fine smelling bath products. I received TWO tubes of wasabi, wasabi almonds, a japanese wasabi-pea snack mix, lotions and bath gels (not wasabi :)) and some perfume samples. Chris received artwork painted by my mom from a picture I had taken in Belmopan the first week in Belize. It's funny because that picture was taken from the place Chris and I started to get to know each other. Nice choice mom. We received so many other gifts from family. It was fun taking the time to open each gift one after another. Thank you all so much for keeping us in your thoughts during this holiday season.
After opening presents, we went to the Eily's and had a nice Belizean Christmas dinner and opened more presents from his host family. We finished our day sitting on the balcony feeling the cool breeze over the bright sunshine on faces, exhausted after a long day a food, presents, and family gatherings. The way Christmas should be.

New Years

New Years came fast and a few of us volunteers made our way to Caye Caulker to celebrate. I absolutely love it there. The water is the most beautiful I've ever seen. I'd compare it to the waters at Magen's Bay in St. Thomas...just more variety of blues. Breathtaking. Chris took me out to a nice italian dinner at a place called Don Corleone's. It was a real treat because we had a real dining experience. Waiters (they even told us specials), appetizers, well prepared food (lasagna and grilled lobster), and we finished with a tiramisu. It's always nice to revisit our own culture for a minute. Caye Caulker is a cute, charming town with a relaxed atmosphere and smiling faces. The experience was fun and refreshing. A nice way to start off the New Year.

Back to Reality

Now that the holidays are over, it's time to get back to work. I'm meeting with my 4H groups this week trying to get applications in for the Michigan Exchange Program (4H participants in Michigan come to Belize and vice versa in the summer for two weeks). I've also started teaching life skills classes to a group of adults trying to get back into the workforce. I love it so far and hope to continue this type of work in the future. Also, this month I (along with a few other volunteers) are starting to plan an environmental camp in the summer for 4H participants. The camp just so happens to be held in Caye Caulker for a week. The future is looking bright and sunny.

Finding My Own

2008-12-12T11:49:00.000-08:00

So it's been twelve days since I last updated my blog and quite a few things have happened in these last two weeks. It's so easy to lose track of time. I guess that will always be a constant in my life, no matter what country I'm in.
First of all, I completed my first project while in site. I was in charge of organizing and producing a Christmas banquet for the 4H clubs in the Stann Creek District. It was actually the perfect first project for me because it helped me figure out my way around town, understand the way Bealizeans work (this I feel will be a constant learning experience), and helped me integrate into the clubs by interacting with the children during the process.
After we recited the 4H pledge and the National Anthem, we handed out certificates to all the 4H members who held office this year. Then dinner was served (rice/beans/cole slaw/chicken - of course) while the 4H members put on dances and skits for the audience. It was really fun to see the hard work the children put in to their presentations. I can tell this is something they really love. Somehow, the MC's (two of the 4H girls) snuck in a punta dance-off (a socially acceptable - however questionable it seems to pcv's- dance in which girls of every age literally stick their bottoms in the air and shake it for the audience). This definitely got the crowd going and provided a lot of laughs. The night was ended by the clubs saying their goodbye's to Micah, the PCV that has been here for the past 2 1/2 years and whom I'm filling in for. Micah had obviously been greatly affected by the relationships he built the past 2 years. Everyone was crying, including him. It actually made me excited to continue his hard work in making a difference in this community and to build upon the relationships he's already established.
Micah's leaving was a little bittersweet. It was sad to see him go. He was a great guy and had a lot of insight into the nature of this job. However, I feel like now I can finally step up and make this project my own. I'm feeling energized and ideas are constantly forming in my mind. I can't wait.

Work
I've been thinking about how I want my two years to look like. Specifics will come in due time, but for now I feel like I want to set broad goals. My boss's main concern in 4H is expanding the program. I agree this is important and I will definitely put my energy into developing more clubs around the area. I think I want to put more evergy into the quality of the programs rather than the quantity. How productive they are, how beneficial their experience is, developing a wide variety of options for vocational studies, activities to expand their interests, and also introducing an educational aspect. I would love to start a nutritional program here in Belize and incorporate cooking classes and the importance food preparation has on one's health.
Maybe I'm just a little tired of all the fried food :)

Chess
Chess is an extremely popular activity amongst youth in Belize. I haven't spent much time with the youth chess clubs yet however I've recently become involved in an adult chess club. I'm learning so much through my coach, Brian, who has taught me strategies and tactics that have made me look at chess at a whole new angle. I'm really excited about it. This may be a new hobby I pick up. I played in a chess tournament last weekend here in Dangriga and it was a lot of fun. Granted, I lost every single match (including one against Chris - which I'm still coming to terms with :)) but it was a great experience and I'm aware now of what I need to work on. I met with Brian last night and he coached me through some new moves that I'll be practicing this weekend in Punta Gorda for Chess Day. Chess Day isn't a tournament but more a gathering of adults in Belize that want to get together and eat, breathe, and live chess. I don't know if I'm going that far with it but I'm excited that I've taken to it.

I spent most of last week taking care of moving into my new place. It's kind of in shackles right now but my landlady is getting it fixed up for me so it's livable. It has a yard for a potential garden and a gorgeous view. I'll send pictures. I think I'll finally feel settled once I'm in my new place...and can make it my own.

The Giving of Thanks

2008-12-01T13:27:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving came last week. I talked to mom briefly in which she told me after a particularly stressful day at work, she came home to find the neighbor had completely raked her whole lawn.
Give thanks for giving people.
I spent Thanksgiving with my Peace Corps family. All 70 odd people, 1st years, 2nd years, and staff, came together on this day to enjoy each other's company (and each other's food). Even though we had all the traditional items (turkey, pumpkin pie, cranberries, mashed potatoes and gravy) my favorite item was Erin's homemade foccacia bread (Ginny's pumpkin cookies came in a close 2nd).
Thanksgiving is special to me because it is a day out of the year in which I stand back and look at what I have. I have so much to be thankful for. Yes, I have my health, and food, and shelter. Of course, I'm eternally grateful for those things. However, as I began to write down my thanks I realized that what I'm absolutely most grateful for are the relationships in my life. Without the love and support I have from the people I am most close to, how would life have any substance? There are aspects of people in my life that I will always be thankful for . These aspects helped shape who I am today and who I'll be in the future. So, here are my thanks.....

Thank you...

Adam - for your infectious desire for adventure. Your adventurous spirit inspires me to keep being brave, keep trying new things, and keep on keepin' on.

Jennifer - for your peaceful nature, your respect for all living things, and your education of the importance of a pure mind and body. I must be healthy and able myself before I can help others become healthy and able themselves.

Kristen - for your fun-loving attitude. You've always been cool and hip and like to have a good time. Concerts are always on the agenda. You're smart and a go-getter. When you have a vision you make it happen no matter what it takes. What an extremely admirable quality to have. I love you for this.

Aunt Christie and Uncle Chuck - for your courageousness to retire early and follow your dreams. When I see you two with your different crafty projects underway, turning your passions into successful business ventures; I see a true, genuine happiness in your lives. If I'm even half as happy as you two, I know I'll have succeeded.

Aunt Sandi and Uncle Bob - for your giving nature. You seem to always be willing to put anything on the line for others' needs and give up so much of what you have for other people's happiness.

Nana - for your creativity and extremely artistic talent. I've learned from you to express thoughts and feelings and dreams and stories that are inside me and bring them to life on canvas. What an amazing creative outlet you've helped produce. This I will have the rest of my life.

Mom - for your unconditional love. You've taught me what it means to love. What is means to give and receive love. The greatest gift of all. The gift that keeps on giving. I love you. Also, for your passionate nature. Putting your all and consuming yourself into the perfections of whatever you work on. This is what produces quality work.

Dad - for your resilience. There's glory in resilience. Succeeding when the odds are against you. Growing up in such harsh conditions in childhood and becoming an amazing entrepreneur, role-model, coach, and "molder of men." Even 22 years after your death people are still talking about the impact you made in their lives. Resilience - maybe that's part of the romanticism that attracted me to the peace corps. Thank you for being so strong. It makes me want to be even stronger.

My dear friends, Beth, Liv, and Liz - for being my sisters, my family. We've been there for each other through thick and thin. We were, and always will be there for each other. Thank you.

Chris - for being a source of happiness. Laughter. so much laughter. And more than anything, reviving a spirit in me that had been repressed since being in Belize. The spirit of embracing life. Jumping over every obstacle with no hesitation, with full force, looking back only to attain a new perspective, a new light to add to an already richly open mind. There's something to be said for that true feeling of 'aliveness.'
yes, thank you for that my friend

To all of those I have thanked, I am truly, deeply appreciative to have you in my life. I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving as you were all in my heart that day.

Settlement Day

2008-12-01T11:17:00.000-08:00

November 19, 2008 - Settlement Day arrived. One of the most important holidays celebrated in Belize. A group of fellow PCV's came down to Dangriga from Orange Walk and Toledo to celebrate the festivities. Settlement day to me was a mixture of pcv reunions with deep cultural experience. Because SD was in my hometown and I'd been participating in celebrations all month, I was more concerned with spending time with my friends and hearing about their lives in their site. We stayed at Abby's house and hung-out by a huge bonfire. It was a lot of fun.
The next day we watched hundreds of people parade down the streets of Griga and ended up following behind the last float blasting music from it's speakers. Everyone was dancing, waving their arms, and yelling while onlookers dangled their legs over the tops of buildings and children raced after us with balloons in their hands.
Later we went to the Pelican Beach Resort for some R&R. It was surprisingly cold with the huge gusts of winds and choppy, crashing waves. Thus, our stay was short lived. It wasn't actually until my walk home that I had experienced something of deep richness.

My Walk Home

I made the 30 minute walk by myself. The first 30 minutes in two days I had to myself. I was feeling quite sluggish. Buzzed from the food, gatherings, and laughs of the past 24 hours. Exhausted from the fullness of it all. I wanted to go home to rest. I felt like I could've slept for days.

On my way home, the streets were more lively (to my surprise) than I had last seen it. There were a myriad of artistic endeavors.

Painters, sculptors, craftsman...
some proudly standing by their most prized achievements
some eagerly waiting for tourists to spill over their money; hungry for a bite

Musicians, singers, dancers, drummers...
some by themselves
some with backup singers as if Rita Marley and her posse were on tour with Bob.

People feeling the music...
some aggressively punta dancing
some apprehensively bending their knees ever so slightly with the every-now-and-then shoulder schimmy and head-bob

Beads, garments, colors, balloons, shiny windmills, toys, noise makers...
the energy pulsing

cultural immersion. Foreign, yet familiar.
Taking all this in, I heard my name being called from across the street. It was Andrea (Chris' host-mother's sister). She gave me a big hug. We exchanged warm greetings feeling grateful we had crossed each other's paths that day. I told her to tell the family I said 'hi' and continued on my way home. Not long afterward a small boy from my Georgetown Village ran up to me with another huge hug with one of those smiles that reaches from ear to ear...teeth sticking out and everything. I told him to tell everyone back in Georgetown I said 'hi' and, once again, continued on my way. In passing the last drum circle before reaching my house I felt a sense of warmth and began to feel myself finding my place here.
I'm starting to make connections with people.
connections.
that's the beginning of integration.
Isn't that what we're all looking for anyway?
Embracing this culture with no reservations is the ultimate attainment for me but I feel like there are certain levels that need to be reached before this level of embracement.

In order to embrace, one needs to understand.
In order to understand, one needs to identify.
In order to identify, one needs to connect.

I'm beginning to make my connections.

Morning Glories and Elephant Ears

I'm always astounded by the beautiful array and bountiful lushness of the flora in Belize. I'm even more struck by the amount of morning glories and elephant ears there are here in my temporary country. It's so funny that Americans spend so much money to have these plants in their backyards and I see them here at every turn I make. They're everywhere. They've become apart of what I see as Belize. What I've connected to.
So what have I connected to thus far?
What is my Belize?
I've produced a quick list of what I see every day, what my life is right now

....a brief glimpse into my life as a Belizean.

****************
fields of citrus trees
rice/beans/cole slaw/stewed chicken - THE Belizean meal
Hummingbird Highway
school children in school uniforms
the beach
ice cream sold on bicycles
Andy Palacio - Watina album
stray dogs, cats, and horses
smoke from burning trash
chinee shops - where everything is overly priced and low quality
coconut trees and milk
johnny cakes
James Bus Line
text messages
cloud formations
sunrise and sunsets
"buiti binafi" - "good morning" - the only garifuna phrase I use every single day
drumming circles
walking everywhere
mayan huts
Belikin stout
short glances of the intriguingly simplistic appearance and demeanor of the mennonites
Belizean desire for the betterment of their country overlapped by the confusion of disorganized aspirations
fry jacks (my hot pockets)
unexpected discoveries in the heat of spontaneity
graveyards with tombs above ground (eerily beautiful)
constant sunburned nose
khakis and collard shirts (the loathing is beginning to set in)
Belizeans dressed as if they're going to the club - no matter what time of the day
and of course, morning glories and elephant ears

...to be continued

Not Quite Rejuvenating

2008-11-18T06:19:00.001-08:00

There's a cold front in Belize right now. It's cool, new, refreshing. I slept with a blanket over me last night. Due to the cool breeze seeping through the crack in my window that hits my face at night just right, I clutched the blanket around my neck. Not really because I was cold. More because it was comforting.
My internal clock woke me up at 5am this morning (it gets earlier and earlier every week). I laid there in bed with this intense feeling of nostalgia. In my dreaming/waking stupor and the cool breeze on my face, I imagined myself back in Boone. I would get up in my chilly room and quickly put on my 2-3 layers of clothes. On top of that I would put on my peacoat, earmuffs, gloves, and Uggs. I would brave the ongoing snowstorm outside and make my early morning trek to the library. I would be the first to arrive at the coffee shop, inhaling the freshly brewed java and in turn, warming my frozen nose. I would sit in the library for hours on end, studying, researching, watching the snow fall and sipping my bottomless cup of coffee.
ahhh....that was nice to revisit but I snapped myself out of it. I have to be careful not to dwell too long on places and people I cannot have. The cold air reminds me that I have to say goodbye to that weather for two years. It made me a little sad. I started realizing this beautiful, gorgeous, tropical weather, the newness of it all, will inevitably reside after a while.
Is this the beginning of it?
I don't think I'll ever take it for granted, however, the newness will definitely wear off. I'm still in honeymoon phase but I can slowly feel myself slipping into the next phase of my two years....initial shock.

The Snag

Living in Belize and adapting to the culture has certainly provided it's own realm of challenges, but now that I'm getting into the 'nitty-gritty' of my work I feel that obstacles I encounter will bring about a new level of barriers to cross.

I've encountered my first hurdle in the workplace - "Bealizean Time"

Belizean time means everyone is about 20-30 minutes late. This is not only acceptable but it's also expected. Okay, no big deal. If I want to meet at 4pm I'll just tell everyone to be there at 3:30pm. Waiting 30 minutes doesn't bother me because I always have something I can be working on.
The thing I've discovered is my real hurdle is the part where they don't actually show up. I've learned "yes, I'll come" in Belize doesn't necessarily mean "yes, I'll come." In Belize, people forget about meetings or if something more important comes up, there is no etiquette of letting the person know you won't be there.
This has caused some frustration in my life. After my 3rd (unsuccessful) attempt at organizing a meeting yesterday, I felt a sense of defeat. I felt it in my body as I walked home. My shoulders were heavy and my pace was sluggish. I asked myself over and over "how am I supposed to get anything done here? I know it wont always be like this. You win some and you lose some. I'm finding my ground right now, my niche. This is my first real challenge in integrating into the workplace. How will I address this? I'll keep you posted

Recapitulation

Last week has been a good one. Settlement Day is this week. It's probably the biggest holiday of the year for Belizeans and it happens to take place in Dangriga. Lucky for me, it has been a month-long festival for the locals which has provided some extremely rich cultural experiences thus far. There have been drummings, dances, marches, presentations, readings, inaugurations...etc. The town has been alive. The ongoing beating of the drums pulses through the hearts of every Dangrigan. It means something more than a beat that gets your blood pumping and persuades you to dance. To me, each beat represents freedom, unity, justice, life, pride. The pride Belizeans take in their culture is so undeniably strong and beautiful. Their history is sacred and you can see it in their eyes when they reiterate their past, or dress in their Garifuna ensemble, or brag about how good their food is (which they have every right to do :) ). There's this everlasting life in the pride of their culture that will never die down. It will go on from generation to generation. That's beautiful.
My favorite part of the festivities has been the house-to-house drumming. A group of people dress up and walk down every street in Griga drumming and singing and dancing. It's fun to watch them go by. I catch a glimpse of the beat that races through my host-family's hearts.

I got to talk to Beth last week. I feel so fortunate to be able to talk to her. E-mailing is one thing but when you hear someone's voice - the connection you feel is so much greater. Beth's traveling itch is getting the best of her. She's like me. You can't keep her caged for too long when there's a whole world out there to discover. Beth, my advice to you: Read the rest of Eat, Pray, Love and tell yourself "be brave." That's what helped me un-clutch my mother and step onto that plane three months ago. The most fulfilling experiences in life are not the ones that are easy and comfortable. This will be hard.

Chris came to Dangriga this weekend. We went swimming at the Pelican Beach Resort where the water is like bathwater and the sand like velvet. We had a good 'ol fashioned American dinner of pizza and beer and hung out with fellow PCV's. We had yet another great weekend. It's nice to be around people that make you smile just from their mere presence.

So yes, I had a good last week with a few bumps in the road. That's life. The breeze this morning provided a suitable metaphor for my feelings about last week.

Still refreshing, yet not quite rejuvenating.

One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain

Music has been a sublime companion of mine. Something that has provided me unconditional love throughout my life. In the words of Cat Stevens " I let my music take me where my heart wants to go." Here is a list of artists I listened to last week:

Avett Brothers
Ben Harper
Otis Redding
Johann Sebastian Bach
Cat Stevens
Led Zeppelin
Robert Plant/Alison Krauss
Andy Palacio
Zap Mama
G.love
Rick Warren and Dr. Wayne Dyer speeches
Van Morrison

From the Homefront - second letter

2008-11-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

I've gotten another request to post my second e-mail home...this one is more recent. It has been shortened a bit but here it is for those of you who didn't receive it:

"Training was long and intensive but I got through it. The highlights of my training were probably going to Punta Gorda, staying the night in a Mayan Village and meeting a young man who had his own artifacts that he'd picked up over the years, hiking in the Cockscomb Wildlife Sanctuary (actually reminded me of the blue ridge mountains of NC), visiting Placencia for the day (a small americanized tourist destination that is ABSOLUTELY amazing), and forming really great friendships with the pcv's and host families.

October 29, 2008 I officially swore in as a volunteer. It was kind of funny because we were all sitting there listening to the Governor General and Ambassador speak and then we all went up to shake their hands to make it official. well, somehow, my name was skipped over. They didn't call my name. I almost wanted to cry for a second because I didn't know if I wasn't actually a volunteer or not. I thought something might've happened right before that wouldn't allow me to be a volunteer. When all the names were called out someone yelled "Julie!" and the announcer said "oh yeah! Julie Magnussen" PHEW! I ran up there and everyone clapped and cheered. It The Govenor General said "you must be a very popular lady." He must have no realized that they almost forgot to say my name and that's why everyone was cheering but at least I got something other than "congratulations." So later that night we went to an Indian Restaurant (compliments of the Peace Corps) which was some of the best food I've had thus far. The next day I went to Dangriga where I'll be living the next two years. The next day everyone in the Peace Corps went to Placencia where we all bought out cabanas and hung out together for the weekend. It was one of the best weekends of my life. Good friends, beautiful weather, aqua water, remote, live music all the time, and just a free, chill atmosphere to hang out. It was exactly what I needed after my two months of training. I must say life is good. 'When I was sitting in a lazy chair by the shores of the crystal clear water tickling my legs just enough to refreshen my body from the sun beating on my skin, I looked up at the horizon, sipped my coconut water while taking in the hip raggae beats from a beach bar just around the corner, looked over at Chris and said "there is absolutely no other place in the world I'd rather be right now." I meant that with all sincerity. I felt like the luckiest person in the world.

Yes, I am lucky to be in such a gorgeous place for my assignment however I'm not just going to remote beaches and hanging out in the capital all the time. Nope, I'm actually a PCV and I actually work. I started my first official week this week and I went around and pretty much met all the people I'll be working with closely for the next two years. For those of you who don't know yet what I'm doing, I'm working as a 4H Youth Agent of Belize in the Stann Creek District. If you're familiar with the 4H organization in the US, it's not quite the same. 4H Belize is a residential program for post-primary youth. It is considered both an alternative and bridge to high school. It focus is to prepare youths to return to high school or prepare them to enter the job market. This residential program is based in Belmopan where there is a PCV working with 4H there. 4H also promotes youth clubs across the country. There are various focuses including producing a selling james, gardening, arts/crafts, sports, sewing, chess etc. My job is to help form and facilitate these youth clubs and also be a liaison with the Belmopan 4H PCV (at the residential site). I'm actually taking over someone elses (a pcv's) position. He's been here over two years and will be leacing in Deecember. I'm excited to continue his work and hopefully help the clubs to continue to flourish. Right now I'm working on the community service event for Youth Week (which is actually in two weeks and people are just now planning...apparently that's how it's always done in Belize) and next week I'm forming a committee to put together a x-mas banquet for the 4H'ers. This will also be a goodbye party for the guy I'm filling in for. People love him to death and I know I have some big shoes to fill. I'm not worried about it. I like higher expectations. It just makes the quality of my work that much better.

As for living in Dangriga I'm in heaven. I live on the coast. It takes me two minutes to walk to the beach and I run on the beach every day. Dangriga is an extremely safe town and very open and friendly. My host family is so great. They're retired professionals (rudy worked in agriculture and then as a counselor in NYC for a long time and came back to Belize). They have a granddaughter living with them. Her name is Eyana and she is awesome. She's 12 years old and is a champ at chess. I've been playing her almost every night, and even though she beats me every time she always throws in a few tips with every defeat. I'll be playing in an adult chess tournament Dec. 6th. Yes..I will be in the beginniners bracket so I might have a chance. Eyana is also a very smart girl. She knows 90% more about politics than I knew at her age. Also, the other day we were having a discussion and a commercial came on the television and she said "shhh...hold on. I wanna see this. I like this commercial." It was a commercial about sexual abuse. I said "Eyana...why do you like this commercial" in a very skeptical and confused tone of voice. She was still captivated by the screen and finally turned to me and said "Julie...because it gives young women a voice." She says this kind of stuff to me and it blows me away. She's 12. I never thought I would love hanging out with a 12 year old so much.

So I love my family, I love where I live, I love the people I work with....am I making you sick yet?? Haha...the only thing I don't have is my beloved family but you're always in my heart and I think about you all the time.

I love all of you. I'm extremely happy for our new President elect (sorry mom) and I hope my true home of America will pick it's pieces up in the next few years. I feel confident it will."

First E-mail

2008-11-12T17:48:00.000-08:00

I know I made a point in my first posting not to delve into my life during training, however I've received requests to post my first e-mail while living in Georgetown. Here it is:

Buiti Rabanweyu! That's "good evening" in Garifuna. Well, I'm a little over a week into in-site training. For those of you who don't know, I'm staying in Georgetown, near the southern coast of Belize. Georgetown is definitely a dramatic change to the lifestyle I've become accustomed to. The town is actually a village. I think maybe 250 people live here. It's maybe a mile in diameter. The poverty is overwhelming. When I first drove in...oh my gosh, I was really scared. These are houses you drive by in the states and you think they're abandoned. Haha...I've never felt shock like that in my life. I met my host mother and as the house shook while I walked up the stairs and noticed the chickens running around amongst the quarters and naked babies chasing after them. "Wow...I live here" I thought to myself. After I unpacked my belongings in my room (which is actually quite roomy and I have a queen-size bed) I went downstairs to eat dinner. I looked at my dinner plate and everything looked normal...rice and beans, avacado, mashed plantains, and.....hmm...a foreign piece of meat. I asked my host mother what is was and she said "Oh...that's just pig-tail." After a PC lecture earlier that day on respect in the host family (including eating everything on your plate) I found the courage to break away a piece of the meat from the cartiledge and put it in my mouth. Okay...it tastes like hot dog. That was my first and last bite. I told my host mother I only eat fish so I wouldn't have to deal with foreign meat anymore. So...I eat fish every day....morning, day, and night. One great thing about where I'm living is that there are fruit trees everywhere and I'm free to pick from any of them. I picked from a guava tree yesterday on the way to language training. There are coconut, plum, cherry, cassava, banana, lime, orange, pineapple (which isn't up for grabs), grapefruit, and coffee trees. I actually bought a pound of coffee beans from the person who owns the coffee bean tree yesterday. I'm in the process of shucking each one. Once I've done that I'll roast them, grind them, and brew the coffee myself. I'm so excited. My host mother is also teaching me all these great recipies made from scratch. I'm getting a gerat education on so many aspects of life.

The host family I'm staying with is geat. Carmella is my mother, Zachary (7), and Greg (13) are my host brothers and Loren (16) is my host sister but she doesn't live there because she started her first year of college last week studying business/economics. Zachary is so cute. He follows me around a lot which I'm sure I will find annoying in the next few weeks but he's great. I was doing curl-ups the other night and he sat down and started doing them with me. Then we did push ups and he was letting out gasps of air just like me...even though he wasn't struggling. Now every night he says "miss Julie...we do curls ups right?" I never miss a session. I put my mosquito net up the other night and I said to Zach "whoa...doesn't that look cool Zach?" he turned to me and said "that's awee-some." Apparently I've been saying that a lot around him because Carmella told me he never says that. I think it's great he's trying to realte to me in my language as well.

Training is long and trying at times but I'm getting an amazing education. I still can't believe I'm getting paid for this. In the mornings I study Garifuna with 3 other trainees and later in the day I do technical training with 8 other trainees. Tech training consists of daily activities to give us the skills to give presentations and work with youth groups on different subjects such as health, social skills, physical education...basically a lot of non-formal education techniques. It's great. I love it. I'm growing. I still don't know what my primary job will be once I'm sworn in as a volunteer (Oct. 22!) but it will be youth organization centered. I'll probably find out around the first week of October so I'll keep you posted.

As for my general well-being....I've had a pretty difficult week. The adjustment has been hard. The heat...I've never experienced heat like this in my life and I have to be covered up the whole time. The language barrier...the feeling of being a minority, the social differences, EVERYTHING. My first night in my homestay, after my pig-tail dinner, I laid in bed and said to myself "I wish I had my mom." I miss my family so much. This has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I didn't have anyone hold my hand through it. That was, and is, probably the most difficult part. This is the beginning of my independence, it feels. I already feel as though I've learned 20 life lessons in just the past two weeks. It's been a roller coaster. To my surpirse I actually asked myself "Am I cut out for this? What the heck am I doing here?" Back in the states, my naivety had me thinking I would never think of asking myself that. Ha...a week in and I'm crying like a baby. Well, after a few times of contemplating my stay here I know for sure that I'm here for a reason and this is exactly where I"m supposed to be in my life. I love you guys so much. I wish more than anything I could just have one hug from each of you. The time will pass. I'll be there before I know it. Thank you to everyone for supporting my decision to do this. Pray for me. God is with me. I know it.

I come back to Belmopan every friday (I came back one day early this week) so if you would like to e-mail me back I'll get it next friday and write a response. When we come back to Belmopan it's hard to stay on the computer long because there is only one computer and 40 people waiting to use it. Communication will become easier once I'm at my site. Snail mail works too but we found out it takes over two weeks for letters to arrive...fyi. I love you guys a thousand times over. I'll be posting my pictures up on shutterfly as soon as I can (not an easy task).

Love Always
Julie

First Day of the Rest of My Life

2008-11-11T09:32:00.000-08:00

I've now officially been in Peace Corps Belize for two months, three weeks, and three days. Today's date is November 11, 2008. 11\11. My lucky day. The reason for me not starting a blog until now has been a bit ambiguous to me however I think I've narrowed it down. Sure, my access to a computer during training was extremely limited but we all know if I really wanted to start a blog it would've happened. "Can't" is just can acronym for Certainly Am Not Trying, right? I've concluded the reason for my hesitancy in sharing my experiences was actually cowardliness.
This experience, being in the Peace Corps, is one so unique, so thrilling, so stomach-turning and wonderful at the same time, that transferring the feelings, experiences, emotions that have occurred in my life onto paper seemed like an extremely daunting and impossible task. I feel I was afraid my descriptions would not do justice of what my life is actually like right now. The poignancy would be lost in the plethora of information that wisps in and out of my mind every day.
I've decided that whether I can or can't deliver, that is no excuse for not sharing, and more importantly, not documenting this moving, awe-inspiring, terrifyingly beautiful adventure I've come to embrace as the reality of my life.
Yes, it's true. I've had countless experiences in my short-lived Peace Corps life that I will remember for the rest of my life and will surely be brought up every now and again in this blog, however I will not be delving into them at this time. I will start from today. November 11, 2008. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Dangriga, Belize

I've been living in Dangriga ("Griga" as I like to call it), Belize for almost three weeks now. Dangriga is a small Garinagu community on the coast of Belize. My hometown has officially been labeled the "Cultural Capital of Belize" due to it's rich history of Garinagu people which they first settled upon arriving in Belize. It's situated nicely in the middle of the coastline which makes traveling north or south rather easy. I also have quick and easy (although, not cheap) access to various Cayes surrounding the area. Tobacco Caye will probably be my first stop, known for it's pristine beaches, incredible snorkeling, and fishing game so plentiful even the average joe (that would be me) would feel like a fisherman virtuoso.
In the beginning of training the PC staff said that every PCV believes they live in the 'best' site. I don't know if they were giving themselves a pat on the back for their matching skills or trying to ease our minds but I take back any cynical thoughts I had about their statement because, yes, I do believe this is the best site for myself.
The fact that I live at the beach is just the cherry on top. I live in a town. Perfect. Bigger than a village and smaller than a city. There's a large farmer's market open every day that sells fresh produce, fish, meat, clothes, and other knick-knacks. Everything is in walking distance and the community is safe and friendly. I was walking my usual route the other day to the education office and a young bwai yelled down from his veranda "Peace and love!" in which the older gentleman on his bike riding by returned the statement saying "yes, peace and love, ma bwai." It's a beach town. Easy-going. Laid-back. The energy is infectiously peaceful.

My Day to Day Life

I enjoy every single part of my day for different reasons. I wake up every morning at 6am with the rising sun over the ocean. I make myself a cup of coffee and read in my hammock on the veranda for an hour or two. I just recently started "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings the Blues" (never realized what an incredibly talented writer Maya Angelou is), however I've put that one on pause while a read a biography of our new President Elect - Obama - From Promise to Power by David Mendell. The writing is a bit dry (especially compared to Angelou) however it's nice to know that background of the man running our country...wouldn't you agree??

Reading is then followed by my daily workout. Running on the beach followed by yoga and crunches. Working out on the beach is new and refreshing to me. I'm always taken aback after looking down at the repetitive movements of my feet along the shoreline for a good 10 minutes and then looking up to the vast, open, glittering ocean. The beach is always my own. No people. Sometimes there's an occasional group of bwais taking their dori out to catch some fish.
Afterwards I head into work. Work is a funny situation right now because I'm being 'eased' into the process. Work right now consists of going to 4H meetings to discuss future events and activities along with playing some games to get to know the children. Right now I'm working on a community service event for Youth Week and the end of November and also in charge of the End-of the-Year wrap up banquet for my district 4H members.

After leaving work I go back home to my host family whom I have grown to love. My host-mother is a fantastic cook. My favorite meals have been steak and mashed potatoes, lobster stew (they don't skimp on the lobster either), fish fry, omelets with freshly squeezed orange juice, and my favorite dish is definitely spaghetti. I don't know how she did it but it tastes just like mom's. Could I ask for anything more?!

I've been playing chess with my host-sister, Eyana, every night after dinner. She's an excellent player and has been sharing her tips with me. I finally check-mated her last night to which she replied "okay, time for me to stop going easy on you." She's preparing me for a chess tournament I'll be playing in on December 6th. I'll be working with chess club a lot over the next couple years so this provides an experience to develop empathy with the children I work with.

After chess I hang out in my room. I write, listen to music (thank god for my iHome), read, day dream, whatever. It's my time of the day to reflect. Every day is so great because I make it my own. It's my schedule. Not anyone elses. I'm not a slave to anyone or anything. I think that in itself will factor into my success as a volunteer. I know myself and tend to rebel against or resent anyone or anything that puts boundaries on my life which I may deem unnecessary.

Happiness

Each part of my day is great but I think I've pinpointed my favorite part of the day.

It's 5:15pm. The day has been a good one. Productive, peaceful, healthy, refreshing. I'm leaving the office which is conveniently located oceanfront. As I step out of the building the first thing I see is the deserted sandy beach, welcoming me to the infinite mass of water ahead. The sun is beginning to set which gives the air a deep yellow hue and the warm ocean a dark, almost royal blue tint. The sea breeze wisps across my face and recharges the blood in my veins that had grown tired from me sitting inside. I begin my sojourn home with my back to the ocean and my face to the now deep, golden sun. My passerbys are no longer faces but rather hazy, dark silhouettes contrasting against the day's end. A man on his bicycle with a bucket full of okra dangling from his handle. Two small girls giggling with their hands intertwined in each other's as they shyly look up at me. There are always the sounds of deep, hardy laughter from Garinagu women in the background. They sure do love to laugh.
It's the time of day I feel immeasurable gratitude for the life I've been given by God. Taking in everything through all of my senses, I stop, and remember a quote from my favorite movie "American Beauty" and it brings me back to earth. From the words of Lester Burnham:

"There's so much beauty in the world, sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst, and then I remember, to relax. And stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me, like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid, little life."

Life is so beautiful indeed.